There was a death in the family today. That death was mine. I died in a convenience store in Ogden at about 2:00 this afternoon.

This is the face of death (notice that I've lost control of my bodily functions).
But let me start from the beginning.
Squirrel showed up at my place at 9:00 sharp for
OP’s Trans-Iowa Training Ride (no acronyms please, were trying to keep our PG-13 rating).
No, I'm not doing Trans-Iowa, I just hang out with some nut jobs that don't know when to stop riding their bikes. Speaking of bikes, this is
Squirrel's sweet looking Schwin Traveller.

After some BS and coffee we headed for
Paul’s place in Gilbert. We got there a little early.
Instead of standing around, we headed to Ames on the gravel. When got to the backside of Ada Hayden, we turned around and headed back to Paul’s. That part of the ride was very pleasant. The pace was good, the gravel was great, and the wind was mild. It wouldn’t last.

At
Paul’s we hung around for a few minutes, then we were off.
I was on the TriCross,
Squirrel on his Schwin Traveler SS,
Cory on his Cannondale SS, Alex was on his Surly CrossCheck, and
OP was on his IBEX hardtail.
Apparently the moron disease is contagious, because
OP forgot his helmet.
Unlike me, he noticed, and we went back for it.
Once again, the pace was good, the company was great, but the wind had stiffened bit. Even then, riding into the teeth of the wind was doable. After going west for a few miles, we turned south. That was great. There was just enough tailwind to give a guy hope. The good feelings would not last, and we turned west on a particularly brutal leg of the ride. I slugged it out, but it took a toll.
We finally got to the Ledges for a rejuvenating rest break, where Greg Moore joined us on a single speed. At the rest stop I ate some, I drank some, and I felt a lot better.
The ride through the lower Ledges canyon was especially cool.
Then we started the first of our big climbs. It’s well documented that I suck at climbing. I was the last man up on the climbs, by not by as much as I would have guessed. I’m still slow, but I'm getting better. On the second climb, I used Steve Lauber’s technique. Break away on the descent, and give it back on the climb. It worked, but I’ve never worked harder to maintain 20 mph on a Des Moines river descent (the descent was into the wind – now a very stiff wind).
Back on the gravel, another stiff climb, out into the wind, and I’m off the back. I’m really feeling the pain now. It’s not a sweet kind of pain that you get on a climb. It was more like a sour kind of pain that really hurts. The time spent in zone 4-5 was really taking a toll. The guys waited for my at a turn (still into the wind), and we slogged into Ogden. We were struggling to make 10 mph. We stopped at the aforementioned convenience store on Ogden where I was hoping for the same kind of amazing rejuvenation as the rest stop in the Ledges. When I got off the bike, I felt dizzy, had tunnel vision, and staggered into the store. I looked like death (see "face of death" above).
I figured I’d eat something, I’d drink something, and I’d feel better. Boy was I wrong. I was too zapped to even choke down a gatorade. I felt like yakking. When the other guys started gearing up, I announced that I could not go on, and was calling in the Life Flight (Christy). I got several surprised/concerned looks, and a slightly relieved look from Squirrel, who said he would stick with me (what a guy).
The remaining nutjobs took off. Squirrel and I hung out in Ogden waiting for Christy.
Squirrel has a moment of silence in memory of the dearly departed.
On the way home, we tried to follow some the remaining route so that we could do some heckling/rider support. We drove through Fraser and the YMCA camp at 3:30. We never did see them. I wonder if they are still out there?
While climbing the YMCA hill (in the warmth of my truck) a furry rodent ran out in front of the truck. I hit the brakes. Christy's reaction was "Don't brake for squirrels!". After a a whimper from the back seat, and a quick apology, all was well.
What did I learn from this?
1)
Squirrel is a great guy to hang out with. I should do this whenever I can.
2) I’m really glad I didn’t take either the Steamroller fixie or the SS Rig.
3) These guys are all really strong. I am weak. But I’m working on it.
4) Spend more time riding in the wind. The hills didn’t bother me near as much as the wind. Apparently that’s one more thing that I suck at.
5) Never, never, never, never (I mean never) consider doing
TransIowa. I’ve fantasized about endurance racing from time to time. Based on today’s results, I’m not built for that.
For what it's worth, here is my elevation/HR profile. I spent WAY too much time in zone 4-5.
.
